[The whole fucking point of the Jaegers is to protect people. To save lives. And that--didn't happen that night. It started with a boat of ten fisherman that they dropped because the kaiju took them off guard and there's no coming back from there and it just kept coming at them, driving them back back back until they're not protecting the miracle mile anymore, they're fighting a battle on two million people's doorsteps and once it gets to this point, it's all just collateral damage.
The Shatterdome is destroyed. Half the techs are gone. Tendo is gone. Just like that. And what's worse is that the Becket boys have no idea if it was Gipsy or the kaiju that took them out. In the middle of the fight, they were fighting to stay alive, to kill this son of a bitch, they weren't thinking about the buildings they ran into until it's over, it's dead and their home, their crews, their best friend are all dead too.
Afterwards, it's just clean up. Burying their dead, salvaging what they can. The Anchorage Shatterdome isn't going to reopen, they're relocating down to Vancouver and that makes sense, but it still feels like the final nail in the coffin. Like they failed to save their home and their friends and there's no making it right ever.
Raleigh and Yancy keep fighting because that's what they do. They're Rangers and Gipsy more or less escaped the fight unharmed. No worse than usual and it's easy enough to repair her. And Alison survived the attack too, though fuck knows how, he's never asked her. He saw her at Tendo's funeral for a brief moment, knows that she stayed with them during the move but hasn't really seen her or tried to find her because there's just. Too much there. Too much history. Too much like he killed her chance at happiness because fuck man, Tendo was so over the moon for her, they would've been great together.
And maybe he should've predicted that it'd all come to a head someday. He just didn't think it'd be like this. It starts with the one year anniversary of Knifehead's attack, when the Shatterdome gathers together and they all drink to their fallen comrades and maybe Yancy has one too many or it's just grief and guilt and old lust coming to the surface but he finds himself stumbling down the hall with Alison and how they actually get to her bunk seems to be a fucking miracle since they don't seem to stop kissing or touching or trying to strip off clothes the second they leave the gathering.
He's maybe the worst person in the world, killed his best friend and then slept with the girl of his dreams, yeah you're a real class act, Yancy Becket.]
[ knifehead is a nightmare come to life. alison's fairly open about the fact that she lost family to trespasser. they were killed somewhere around day three or four of its rampage and it's what drove her to join the ppdc. ( well, that and her minor weapons obsession. ) so seeing a kaiju rip through her new home is really difficult. especially since it kills tendo.
of all her friends in the shatterdome, tendo is the one she was probably the closest to. and not just because they'd dated. if you can call going on one date and sleeping together "dated." the two of them just clicked really well. better than she clicked with almost anyone else in their group of friends. he was easy to talk to and they shared a sense of humor. it would've been very easily to fall in love with him. and it's probably because he was over the moon for her and agreed to go to dinner with her that she's still alive.
she'd still been in his bunk, half-awake when they were told to evacuate. she'd gotten dressed in her skirt and one of his shirts with his blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and tromped out into the snow. it wasn't until later that she learned tendo had refused to leave his post even though it looked like loccent was going to be hit. he'd had a job to do so he was going to do it and try to keep the alarms going for everyone else. it was stupid, and self-sacrificial, and so very him that alison spent a large part of the month or two after knifehead angry at him.
the rest of the time she was withdrawn. the once friendly and open girl closed herself off. the loss of so many coworkers and friends was the straw the broke the camel's back. it wasn't enough to just keep people at arms length anymore. she didn't talk to hardly anyone, pushed people away, and justified it by saying it meant it wouldn't hurt when the kaiju took something else away from her.
except she's an extrovert and naturally friendly so it takes maybe nine months before she's so fucking sick of it all that she says fuck it and starts talking to people again. though she doesn't really strike it up again properly ( you know, if you squint and tilt your head ) with yancy until the anniversary of knifehead. when they tumble into bed. she's not really that drunk and she's pretty sure yancy isn't either. which is both a good thing and a bad thing. it's a good thing because it means they'll probably be able to talk about this like rational adults and maybe do it again. it's bad because she gets the feeling yancy would like to blame this on the alcohol and grief.
he's also very obviously guilting himself. alison knows that expression well enough. it's surprisingly similar to his "i'm worried about you and about to mother hen the shit out of you" expression.
alison pushes herself up so she can look him in the eye and raises an eyebrow at him. ] I can practically hear you beating yourself up. Cut that shit out.
[He doesn't actually expect her to address it, can't they just go take a shower, separately and go back to the lives, he'll go back his bunk and they won't... talk about this. Logically, he knows that Tendo and Alison were really not an item before Tendo died but it still feels like he's betraying his friend by sleeping with her.]
Alison... [Yancy sighs and moves to sit up in her bed.] Maybe I should just go then.
[ leaving just won't do. alison puts a hand on his shoulder to push him back down as she moves to straddle him so he can't get up without taking her with him. and then she gives him a hard stare because really, yancy? this is how you react to some frankly amazing sex?
okay, it's kind of understandable given the fact that they both miss tendo a whole lot. but still. this just ain't right. ]
If you don't think that he would want his brother and his girl to find some kind of happiness, you didn't know him at all.
Yancy sighs, because it makes sense and you don't really see him putting up a fight to her straddling him because the sex really was great but it doesn't do much to relieve the guilt that's settled around his shoulders.]
Do you know who talked him into finally asking you out? It was me. It took him like months to do.
[ she smiles sadly and shakes her head. ] He never asked me out. I did it before he got the chance to. [ yeah, even though she was still technically going out with her mechanic boyfriend. alison may be a bit screwed up when it comes to relationships.
she leans forward and kisses yancy softly, just to shut him up. ] If you died, would you want Raleigh to beat himself up about it?
[When Yancy sighs again and maybe swears a little under his breath and that wasn't really English, it was actually French, it's because he can't believe that Tendo still didn't do it. Still didn't ask her out.
He shuts up when she kisses him like she wanted, leaning into her.]
Are you saying you'd sleep with Raleigh if I die, or that I'm overreacting?
[ if they were having any conversation other than one this heavy, alison might make a comment about how he should speak in french a little more and maybe they'd have round two.
but this is serious business, so she settles for rolling her eyes at him. ]
That you're overreacting. Drama queen.
[ he's got a right to grieve. but she really has zero patience for this guilt over sleeping with her. ]
[She totally holds the reins in this relationship. If it's a relationship. He doesn't know what it is. A one night stand as of right now. Friends who had sex one night. Yes. That's it.]
Sleep, unless you want to go for round two. [ but she realizes that isn't exactly what he was asking, so she adds: ] We can talk over breakfast tomorrow if you can put off the conversation until then.
[ if not, they can talk now. she might have to get off him, but they can talk. ]
What part of you're not getting out of this don't you understand? [ really, for a guy that takes care of people so much, he's really shitty at taking care of things involving himself. ] We're talking about this tomorrow.
[ she pauses to think over what she's going to say before she says it. but there's really no good way to ask this question, so fuck it. ]
More time to guilt yourself into not going for something that might make you happy, or more time to think about whether or not this was just a grief fuck?
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[The whole fucking point of the Jaegers is to protect people. To save lives. And that--didn't happen that night. It started with a boat of ten fisherman that they dropped because the kaiju took them off guard and there's no coming back from there and it just kept coming at them, driving them back back back until they're not protecting the miracle mile anymore, they're fighting a battle on two million people's doorsteps and once it gets to this point, it's all just collateral damage.
The Shatterdome is destroyed. Half the techs are gone. Tendo is gone. Just like that. And what's worse is that the Becket boys have no idea if it was Gipsy or the kaiju that took them out. In the middle of the fight, they were fighting to stay alive, to kill this son of a bitch, they weren't thinking about the buildings they ran into until it's over, it's dead and their home, their crews, their best friend are all dead too.
Afterwards, it's just clean up. Burying their dead, salvaging what they can. The Anchorage Shatterdome isn't going to reopen, they're relocating down to Vancouver and that makes sense, but it still feels like the final nail in the coffin. Like they failed to save their home and their friends and there's no making it right ever.
Raleigh and Yancy keep fighting because that's what they do. They're Rangers and Gipsy more or less escaped the fight unharmed. No worse than usual and it's easy enough to repair her. And Alison survived the attack too, though fuck knows how, he's never asked her. He saw her at Tendo's funeral for a brief moment, knows that she stayed with them during the move but hasn't really seen her or tried to find her because there's just. Too much there. Too much history. Too much like he killed her chance at happiness because fuck man, Tendo was so over the moon for her, they would've been great together.
And maybe he should've predicted that it'd all come to a head someday. He just didn't think it'd be like this. It starts with the one year anniversary of Knifehead's attack, when the Shatterdome gathers together and they all drink to their fallen comrades and maybe Yancy has one too many or it's just grief and guilt and old lust coming to the surface but he finds himself stumbling down the hall with Alison and how they actually get to her bunk seems to be a fucking miracle since they don't seem to stop kissing or touching or trying to strip off clothes the second they leave the gathering.
He's maybe the worst person in the world, killed his best friend and then slept with the girl of his dreams, yeah you're a real class act, Yancy Becket.]
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of all her friends in the shatterdome, tendo is the one she was probably the closest to. and not just because they'd dated. if you can call going on one date and sleeping together "dated." the two of them just clicked really well. better than she clicked with almost anyone else in their group of friends. he was easy to talk to and they shared a sense of humor. it would've been very easily to fall in love with him. and it's probably because he was over the moon for her and agreed to go to dinner with her that she's still alive.
she'd still been in his bunk, half-awake when they were told to evacuate. she'd gotten dressed in her skirt and one of his shirts with his blanket wrapped around her shoulders, and tromped out into the snow. it wasn't until later that she learned tendo had refused to leave his post even though it looked like loccent was going to be hit. he'd had a job to do so he was going to do it and try to keep the alarms going for everyone else. it was stupid, and self-sacrificial, and so very him that alison spent a large part of the month or two after knifehead angry at him.
the rest of the time she was withdrawn. the once friendly and open girl closed herself off. the loss of so many coworkers and friends was the straw the broke the camel's back. it wasn't enough to just keep people at arms length anymore. she didn't talk to hardly anyone, pushed people away, and justified it by saying it meant it wouldn't hurt when the kaiju took something else away from her.
except she's an extrovert and naturally friendly so it takes maybe nine months before she's so fucking sick of it all that she says fuck it and starts talking to people again. though she doesn't really strike it up again properly ( you know, if you squint and tilt your head ) with yancy until the anniversary of knifehead. when they tumble into bed. she's not really that drunk and she's pretty sure yancy isn't either. which is both a good thing and a bad thing. it's a good thing because it means they'll probably be able to talk about this like rational adults and maybe do it again. it's bad because she gets the feeling yancy would like to blame this on the alcohol and grief.
he's also very obviously guilting himself. alison knows that expression well enough. it's surprisingly similar to his "i'm worried about you and about to mother hen the shit out of you" expression.
alison pushes herself up so she can look him in the eye and raises an eyebrow at him. ] I can practically hear you beating yourself up. Cut that shit out.
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Alison... [Yancy sighs and moves to sit up in her bed.] Maybe I should just go then.
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[ leaving just won't do. alison puts a hand on his shoulder to push him back down as she moves to straddle him so he can't get up without taking her with him. and then she gives him a hard stare because really, yancy? this is how you react to some frankly amazing sex?
okay, it's kind of understandable given the fact that they both miss tendo a whole lot. but still. this just ain't right. ]
If you don't think that he would want his brother and his girl to find some kind of happiness, you didn't know him at all.
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Yancy sighs, because it makes sense and you don't really see him putting up a fight to her straddling him because the sex really was great but it doesn't do much to relieve the guilt that's settled around his shoulders.]
Do you know who talked him into finally asking you out? It was me. It took him like months to do.
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she leans forward and kisses yancy softly, just to shut him up. ] If you died, would you want Raleigh to beat himself up about it?
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He shuts up when she kisses him like she wanted, leaning into her.]
Are you saying you'd sleep with Raleigh if I die, or that I'm overreacting?
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but this is serious business, so she settles for rolling her eyes at him. ]
That you're overreacting. Drama queen.
[ he's got a right to grieve. but she really has zero patience for this guilt over sleeping with her. ]
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What do we do now then?
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[ if not, they can talk now. she might have to get off him, but they can talk. ]
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It can wait until breakfast.
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alison leans in to kiss him softly, then raises an eyebrow at him. ] Breakfast doesn't mean you can weasel out of this conversation.
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What if it gets postponed to like breakfast in a week?
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I might-- need more time than that.
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More time to guilt yourself into not going for something that might make you happy, or more time to think about whether or not this was just a grief fuck?